waiting for Emily.

We sold our car yesterday and while I was journaling and praying and thanking God for that I heard him say "why don't you keep $50 and give away $450?" I fell silent and my heart sank. God showed me things in my heart that I never fully realized were there before. He showed me how fear was gripping me so I couldn't fully trust Him and how I am tightly holding onto money. I cried and told the Lord I was sorry for these things. As the Lord worked all this out in my heart I said okay, i'm gonna read your Word, please confirm this for me. I opened up to where I had stopped reading the night before. It was 2 Corinthians 9. I started reading and it was all about being generous. The verses that stuck out the most to me were:

‎2 Corinthians 9:6

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows 

generously will also reap generously

9:8

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all 

that you need, you will abound in every good work.

9:12 

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also

 overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.

9:13

Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the 

obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity

in sharing with them and with everyone else.

There was no doubt about it, the Lord was speaking very clearly to me that we need to give 

this money. When Jr got home we prayed about it and Jr heard the name Emily. Well, we 

don't know any Emily's.. so we prayed again and heard the Lord say, "Wait"

.

So, we are waiting on the Lord. This is such an adventure and we are waiting expectantly 

and excitedly for "Emily"

cutting down the tree

A few weeks ago we got together with some of our friends and had a night of prayer. One of our friends got a picture for Jr of a tree and an apple fell off the tree and it kept rolling away from the tree getting all dirty but then Jesus picked up that apple and he is continually cleaning it off. -- Jr is that apple.

I was praying over Jr and the Lord reminded me of King Nebuchadnezzar's dream about the tree in Daniel Chapter 4. 

Daniel 4:20-22

The tree you saw, which grew large and strong, with its top touching the sky, visible to the whole earth, with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the beasts of the field, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds of the air-- you, O king, are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth.

4:23

You, O king, saw a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven and saying, 'cut down the tree and destroy it, but leave the stump.. while its roots remain in the ground.

Ok. So basically this tree is huge, beautiful, strong, & great. So why would God want to cut down the tree & destroy it?

4:26

The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that heaven rules.

4:36

... and i was restored to my throne and became even greater than before.

So this is what the Lord spoke to me about Jr through this scripture.

Jr was a good leader before but the Lord is pruning him and tearing down branches and the Lord is raising Jr up to be an even greater leader.

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One thing that I have been surprised about is this season that we are in right now before we leave to ywam is  hard. I didn't expect the Lord to be bringing so much up in us. I expected it all to happen at ywam but I love that he is working out hard stuff right now too. :)

PRAYER:

Jesus will continue to release finances to us.

We will receive all that Jesus has for us during this time before ywam-- [ character growth, blessing others, patience, trusting Him.. so much more! ]

Thanks everyone!! :)

vehicle blessings

I don't even know why I doubt God at times. He is always faithful and always provides! Jesus, please forgive me for my unbelief!!

Yes, He provided for us AGAIN. :) One of my aunts and uncles are letting us use their vehicle until we leave for ywam! We are so excited because last winter I would get stuck in the car and Jr would be at work and couldn't help me but this vehicle we are borrowing has 4 wheel drive! No more getting stuck!! :) 

Also, last night one of my cousins said he wants to give us 2 cars that we can keep or sell. We go from no cars to overload of cars! Jesus is good. 

I feel like there is just tons of stuff to do before we leave in (10 weeks) I am trying to go through our house and get rid of stuff that we don't need or use. It's been fun, I've gotten to bless some people.

It is cold here today and it is supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow. I am getting very excited for that Hawaiian sun :)

it's your choice. what are you choosing?

     A few days ago Jr was asked to go talk to someone about Jesus. This lady is 50 something and has lung cancer and was given a month to live. She had mentioned that she was ready to accept Jesus.

     Jr and I went to the hospital today and it was just so sad to see this lady laying there struggling. Jr told her about Jesus and asked her if she wanted to accept Him. --she said no. My heart broke knowing that this lady was dying and she would end up in Hell if she won't accept Jesus. I know we are supposed to speak in love but I just wanted to scream at her and say WHY? what do you have to lose? you are dying and your reality of hell is soon. I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to tell her about Heaven -- that there is no pain, no crying, no let downs, no disease. How MUCH Jesus loves us! But I just couldn't. I knew if I said anything it was going to come out wrong and probably mean because I just wanted this dying, fragile lady to accept Jesus and her heart is hardened and she said no.

     Why do people say they will 'get around' to going to church and living for Jesus? I know I said that and it was all for pure selfish reasons. I wanted to live my life how I wanted to live it even though I knew what I was doing was wrong. At times like these I am reminded and am so thankful to Jesus that He shook my world up and showed me that I needed Him!

     Having a relationship with Jesus isn't boring. It is full of adventure! He has so many plans for us and has the best for us! Living life to the fullest through Jesus is what He wants!


     If you are not choosing Jesus right now, how do you know you will choose Him on your death bed?
 --- you may not even be lucky to have time to know you are dying.

     You have two realities. Heaven or Hell. Jesus came to give you life with Him. It's your choice now.

There isn't time to wait to raise a family or wait until your older to have a relationship with Jesus.

the time is now.

finding humor in the wreckage

     This year has been.. the worst of "luck" with vehicles. Throughout this whole year we have had vehicle problems. We have gone through 3 vehicles of our own, hit a deer with a friend's and totaled it, got an abnormally large rock chip in Jr's dads truck (luckily he was already getting the window replaced)  and yesterday we got hit in Jr's dad's car which was our last resort. It is safe to say that any problems we have with vehicles don't even surprise us anymore. We don't own a vehicle of our own that works and we can't afford to buy a new vehicle because we are going to ywam. I don't know if this is humorous or irritating. I'm choosing humorous. :)
     I feel like every vehicle we have had has been 'stripped' away from us and I just feel like God really wants us to trust him! I don't know if he was trying to teach us this lesson earlier in the year and now we have no other 'options' but to turn to God and stop trying to do things on our own. Whatever it is, I know that He is our provider.

Some verses that I feel as though God is speaking to us through:

1 Corinthians 2:5

So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.

AND

1 Corinthians 2:9

No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him.

I don't know what God's doing with us in this situation but if you see us walking in the streets feel free to pick us up! haha just kidding.
   

cleansing

The Lord is working in our marriage through cleansing and healing us. This is a difficult process but the Lord has been by our side all the time and He is amazing me with the work he is doing in us. I can't even believe how much our marriage has grown in this last week.

In any relationship with the Lord there will be cleansing. The Lord is always making us new and to be more like him. I am so thankful that He doesn't allow us to keep up with our sin.

I had a dream last night and the Holy Spirit gave me the interpretation.

We are diving, -- plunging in head first, going below the surface, to mend and unite our marriage. Our marriage is available for moving in the Spirit and will be strengthened, repaired, mended, and recovered.

I love that part of what the Holy Spirit told me was that it will be strengthened. We can already tell that our marriage is strengthened. I love it when I can see in my life what the devil has intended for bad, God changes that and uses it for good and brings God glory. :)

Lord, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.
Renew them in our day, 
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy.
-Habakkuk 3:2

today I am standing in awe, once again, of Gods deeds. He is renewing us and strengthening us.

the fourth stage: birth

Please go to my blog archive on the right and go down to June. Read God's timing.

Now that you know the story of how God spoke to us about attending ywam let me say this:

     There are 4 seasons in a year but i'm not looking at this year as weather seasons. I want to look back at this year and say there were 4 stages.
     The first stage of this year the Lord really showed us that HE is our provider. It was amazing.
     The second stage was waiting and trusting in the Lord, believing Him for what He has called us to do.
     The third stage was tasting a little bit of that promise(getting accepted) and starting the work(fundraisers) for receiving His promise.(ywam)
     The fourth stage is starting next week. I feel as though we are being 'birthed' out. (remember my diagram and my blog from June)
     We are entering the last stages of this year and I am imagining child birth and giving birth to a child is not easy. There is pain but there is also the blessing at the end. As this last season is approaching I already know that I am going to be tested in trusting God with the finances we need. Isn't it funny that now those two are combined. trusting & finances. The same things that He taught and showed us from the first two stages of this year.

     Please be praying for us as we are entering this last stage. Your prayers and your friendship mean so much to us. One specific prayer that you can pray for us is that we are receiving everything the Lord has for us to learn and receive from this last stage before we are pushed out. We want to be everything the Lord has called us to be.