a goodbye

As this year is ending soon the words that the Holy Spirit spoke to us on Jan 1, 2011 have been on my mind a lot. He promised us that this year was for preparation & at the end of the year He would push us out. Well, in 6 days we are leaving Glendive, leaving our family, our friends, and pretty much anything we are familiar with. We will be flying out Jan 5th to Kona, Hawaii.

I feel like we've been walking through this year and finally we can see a door at the end. I don't know what is behind that door but we have confidence that it is good. We are excited to go & be wrecked by the Lord. He has already been wrecking us & it has been amazing!! [ that is foolishness  to the world; something new the Lord has been speaking to us about] He has began to put desires & dreams in our hearts. He is calling us to live radically obedient to Him! We know that through this school the Lord is going to do deep, deep work & we will be totally wrecked in a way that we will never be the same.

On Saturday the Glendive Alliance Church is hosting a Burn, which is a time of worship & intercession. Jr & I will be seeking the Lord for new promises He has for us for this year. I want to encourage you to do the same, it doesn't have to be there but wherever you are, seek the Lord for His promises for you this year! It is really cool seeing Him fulfill those promises! It is really helpful throughout the year too, you can always remember those promises and hold onto them in tough times.

The next blog we write, we will probably be in Kona so make sure you keep checking back to hear what the Lord is doing in us!!

Thank you to everyone who is praying for us & who donated to us! We know without a doubt this is where the Lord called us to, so thank you for being obedient to Him!! We love you all!!! Have a Happy New Year!! And be expectant of the Lord to do a deep work in your life & in Glendive!! We have high expectations for Glendive this year!! Can't wait to see what He does!!

Seeing through the "eyes of your heart"

     HEY!!! I can't even begin to explain all of the things that God has been revealing to me ever since I confessed my addiction to pornography.  I have a journal and I have never really been too big into writing in it a lot, but since Sept. 28 i have filled up more that half of my journal, just trying to remember all the new things that i am learning and going through.  My biggest prayer since all of this has happened was that through all of this that i could help other men who struggle with the same problems as me.  Hope you enjoy what God is doing, not just in me but so many others.

     God i pray that i could confine all of the things that You are doing into a short enough blog that people could keep paying attention.  Thank You.


     Something that has been coming up so much is the few verses in Ephesians 1.  It is Paul's prayer for that church,

                      Eph 1:17-18  "that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory,
                     (may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him,
           the eyes of your heart being enlightened; that you may know the what is the hope of His calling),
                              what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints.

     this has been my prayer for me, and the whole church body.  God give us new and fresh revelation about You and who You are!!  and that "the eyes of our heart would be enlightened".  God help us to GET IT!  really get it, not just know in our head things about You, but know in the depths of our hearts the things about You that captivate us!!

     God has enlightened the eyes of my heart in so many ways, i understand so much better now the need for intimacy with Jesus.  i listened to a sermon by Misty Edwards on the parable of the 10 virgins called psalm 45.  i have no idea why she called it that, but she went through and explained what the things in there represented.  the 10 virgins are believers in the last days waiting on Jesus' return.  The lamps are there calling, or their ministry.  finally the oil represents intimacy with Jesus.  in the last days there will be foolish Christians that are so focused on their ministry (lamp) that they won't actually be spending the time with Jesus (oil).  then when He comes back He will say "I never knew you".  then there will be wise one that took the time to spend with our Lord that they really know Him intimately and they will be ready for the marriage feast!!

     We all need to be spending more time with the One who made us.  He really wants us to know Him intimately, more than what we see in the church today.  We will be married to Him some day, would you want to get married to someone that you didn't know that well?  Neither does Jesus!

     We are the body of Christ, and when my stomach has something good in it, the rest of my body knows it and gets to experience the joy from that good thing.  I am convinced that when Christ is working in one, like me, it is most definitely not limited to that one person, Christ extends the goodness to all.  So i know that as my eyes are being enlightened and i am growing in intimacy with Him so will you!! When we are obedient to Him, He blesses us beyond belief, get out of the rut that you are in and spend time with the Joy Maker :)

this is my heart.

There is a new passion rising up in me. 
With everything that has happened in these last few months I have learned a lot. One thing is that you can't think "that will never happen to me" or never think "that sin" could happen to you.

As women we need to stop being ignorant and stop pretending that this could never happen to us because the guys we know love Jesus or because they love us too much to do that. The reality is that the devil is out to kill, steal, and destroy YOU. your life. your marriage. your family. your kids. He will do anything to do it.

So, how can we as women help our men keep their eyes pure? Dressing modestly. It is that simple. I think it is such a small thing that it gets overlooked but this action will help drastically! I want to help women understand how this can impact every guy we come in contact with.

Pornography is like the Elephant in the Room. Everyone knows it is there but the women think it isn't happening to anyone they know. And the men know it all too well. I am not saying every guy struggles with this because they don't. I just know that lust is everywhere in this world and if you don't be purposeful to keep your eyes pure it will be too far easy for the enemy to entrap you in this sin.


What would happen if us as women stopped turning our cheek away from this and actually confronted this? Can we really change this culture of sex and raise awareness about what it is actually doing?

Quick Fact: Studies show that a person's brain on meth & a person's brain that uses pornography trigger endorphin's the same way.


I want everyone to know that I love Jr more than I ever have. These last few months have literally been the best months of my life. We have became so close and our hearts are running after Jesus more then ever before. I love Jr's heart<3. He wants what the Lord has for Him and what He has called Jr to be & he wants to be the best possible husband he can be. 




--ashley. :)

confession & redemption

     So... there has been SO much going on in the last 2 months.  Starting on September 28th, 2011 i finally confessed to Ashley that I had been living in sin.  i had been looking at porn very regularly since before we were married.  there were some breakthroughs for a couple of those months, but mostly i was doing this almost every day.  it started with my smartphone, i knew as soon as i got that i was going to be able find porn on there.  i figured that it would just be every now and then, and i wouldn't let it get out of control or nothing, and that once we got married it would stop because i wouldn't have to deal with this temptation anymore because we were going to be able to have sex.  These were all lies that i listened too, sin is never something that u can just do sometimes, and it always gets out of control when its allowed.  This was a trap like most sins are for ppl, i tried so hard to get out of it by myself, but never succeeded.

     There were so many times that i would want to cry out for help because of sermons that i heard or just because of feelings of guilt and condemnation were so strong and i just wanted them to stop.  I had an accountability group that had my back and i would tell them about my failures and they would try to help me.  They would encourage me to confess to Ashley my sin, i couldn't do it.  Ashley had expressed to me her hatred  for pornography and the way that men think about women a few times, and that made me scared to tell her.  I would think, "what if she wants to divorce me?"  We had just gotten married and i loved her so much, so i reasoned in my head that i couldn't tell her.

    This went on for over a year.  Finally after hearing a sermon on how Jesus can sanctify us, or cleanse us, i decided that i was going to tell Ashley.  I wanted it to be the perfect time though, like some weekend when there wasn't anything going on so that we could spend the time to talk it out.  That perfect time didn't seem like it was coming, and i was quickly figuring out ways to talk myself out of it.  I would say to myself "I will trust in God for deliverance and then once i have been completely freed from it i will tell Ashley about how i used to struggle with it."  Bad idea.  Ashley had a dream one night that i was cheating on her, so she asked me, just to make sure, if anything like that was going on.  So i knew that this is my chance, and so i told Ashley the whole truth!

     i figured that since i was finally doing what God wanted me to do that He would reward me for it and things would be smooth sailing from there.  it wasn't.  It took a long time for Ashley to really be able to understand more of my struggle.  We both were reading books talking about men and porn.  She found one for women, "Every Heart Restored", and i read "Every Man's Battle" and "Pure Eyes".  All great books that helped us both.  The "Pure Eyes" book really helped me to understand that it was an addiction and that there were so many triggers that i didn't even realize, like emotional triggers, i had no idea that when i was angry or sad it was so much easier for me to talk myself into sinning.

     Since i finally confessed to Ash my sin it has been so much easier to battle temptation.  It was the hardest and best thing that has ever happened in our marriage!  We heard from books and from other ppl that this is something that we would always have to deal with, but today as we were having our Jesus time in our living room Ash came across a promise, Psalm 3:3-4 "You are a shield around me, O Lord; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head.  To the Lord I cry aloud, and He answers me from His holy hill." 3:8 "From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people." We do NOT have to deal with this forever, God has promised to redeem and sanctify us for His glory and we need to take Him on His word that He really will sanctify us!

     Enough of this weak battle that we have been fighting, men and women, we need to stand on God's promises that He will take care of us.  My prayer is that we can be radically obedient to God and do whatever He wants us to do.  We were created for one purpose, to GLORIFY GOD WITH EVERYTHING!! lets do it and not let sin and temptation hold us back and make us fear.  Since my confession God has been able to work in both Ashley and i so much and i want to share with the world, but i can only do so much at one time, so hopefully i can share more soon..


--JR.
   

Being Confident.

Yesterday we received an email from our school telling us what dates the money is due and I started to get overwhelmed and scared that we wouldn't have all the money. How many times do I let my circumstances rule my emotions and the way I think? Today the Lord spoke to me through these verses:

Jeremiah 17: 7-8
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
it's leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.


I am praying for more confidence in Him and that we would be like a tree, with our roots deep by the stream.
That we would not fear when heat (circumstances, trials) come.
In times like this we need to be holding on to Him even more and believing what He says and who He says he is! We know He will provide.

If you want to give any amount to us toward this next season you can select the link above: "support"
Thank you for your support financially and prayerfully!!

Check your oil!

Last night we watched a teaching by Misty Edwards on the Parable of the Ten Virgins-- Matthew 25:1-13
I had never understood this parable but she brings FRESH revelation on it.

25:1-5
"At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep.

Misty goes on to say this oil is the intimacy with Jesus, our secret intimate time with Jesus alone.
The lamp is our calling and ministry.

This parable is talking about how there will be christians who are more focused on their ministry and calling rather than spending that intimate time with Jesus. She said that it is the people who talk about praying, who sing the songs of worship, basically the people who talk the talk, but don't walk the walk. They never actually take time out of their day to be intimate with Jesus. Also, it is the people that you hear of "getting burnt out".

25:6-9

"At midnight the cry rang out: 'Here's the bridegroom! Come out to meet him!" Then all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps. The foolish ones said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil; our lamps are going out.' No, they replied, there may not be enough for both us and you. Instead, go to those who sell oil and buy some for yourselves.'

Misty believes that there will be a 'voice' in the darkest hour before Jesus comes back. A voice that will be telling everyone that Jesus is coming back. A voice to wake the church up. These foolish virgins asked the others for oil but they couldn't give them that intimate relationship with Jesus. We can only get that from spending time with him.

25:10-13

But while they were on their way to buy the oil, the bridegroom arrived. The virgins who were ready went in with him to the wedding banquet. And the door was shut. Later the others also came. Sir! Sir! they said, Open the door for us! But he replied, I tell you the truth, I don't know you. Therefore keep watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.

Jesus comes back and the wise virgins who had their oil filled (intimacy with Jesus) got to go into the wedding banquet.  The foolish virgins couldn't go in because Jesus did not know them through the intimate relationship.

This teaching was so convicting, scary, but also makes me want to run to Jesus all the more. It really made me think, am I carrying jars of oil? We need to be getting our oil filled DAILY. Just like the passage says, we don't know the day or the hour when Jesus will return. I pray that we will keep faithful to Jesus and run to him daily for that special intimate time.

I recommend watching this!

mistyedwards.com
the teaching is called psalm 45

waiting for Emily.

We sold our car yesterday and while I was journaling and praying and thanking God for that I heard him say "why don't you keep $50 and give away $450?" I fell silent and my heart sank. God showed me things in my heart that I never fully realized were there before. He showed me how fear was gripping me so I couldn't fully trust Him and how I am tightly holding onto money. I cried and told the Lord I was sorry for these things. As the Lord worked all this out in my heart I said okay, i'm gonna read your Word, please confirm this for me. I opened up to where I had stopped reading the night before. It was 2 Corinthians 9. I started reading and it was all about being generous. The verses that stuck out the most to me were:

‎2 Corinthians 9:6

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows 

generously will also reap generously

9:8

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all 

that you need, you will abound in every good work.

9:12 

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God's people but is also

 overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God.

9:13

Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the 

obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity

in sharing with them and with everyone else.

There was no doubt about it, the Lord was speaking very clearly to me that we need to give 

this money. When Jr got home we prayed about it and Jr heard the name Emily. Well, we 

don't know any Emily's.. so we prayed again and heard the Lord say, "Wait"

.

So, we are waiting on the Lord. This is such an adventure and we are waiting expectantly 

and excitedly for "Emily"

cutting down the tree

A few weeks ago we got together with some of our friends and had a night of prayer. One of our friends got a picture for Jr of a tree and an apple fell off the tree and it kept rolling away from the tree getting all dirty but then Jesus picked up that apple and he is continually cleaning it off. -- Jr is that apple.

I was praying over Jr and the Lord reminded me of King Nebuchadnezzar's dream about the tree in Daniel Chapter 4. 

Daniel 4:20-22

The tree you saw, which grew large and strong, with its top touching the sky, visible to the whole earth, with beautiful leaves and abundant fruit, providing food for all, giving shelter to the beasts of the field, and having nesting places in its branches for the birds of the air-- you, O king, are that tree! You have become great and strong; your greatness has grown until it reaches the sky, and your dominion extends to distant parts of the earth.

4:23

You, O king, saw a messenger, a holy one, coming down from heaven and saying, 'cut down the tree and destroy it, but leave the stump.. while its roots remain in the ground.

Ok. So basically this tree is huge, beautiful, strong, & great. So why would God want to cut down the tree & destroy it?

4:26

The command to leave the stump of the tree with its roots means that your kingdom will be restored to you when you acknowledge that heaven rules.

4:36

... and i was restored to my throne and became even greater than before.

So this is what the Lord spoke to me about Jr through this scripture.

Jr was a good leader before but the Lord is pruning him and tearing down branches and the Lord is raising Jr up to be an even greater leader.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One thing that I have been surprised about is this season that we are in right now before we leave to ywam is  hard. I didn't expect the Lord to be bringing so much up in us. I expected it all to happen at ywam but I love that he is working out hard stuff right now too. :)

PRAYER:

Jesus will continue to release finances to us.

We will receive all that Jesus has for us during this time before ywam-- [ character growth, blessing others, patience, trusting Him.. so much more! ]

Thanks everyone!! :)

vehicle blessings

I don't even know why I doubt God at times. He is always faithful and always provides! Jesus, please forgive me for my unbelief!!

Yes, He provided for us AGAIN. :) One of my aunts and uncles are letting us use their vehicle until we leave for ywam! We are so excited because last winter I would get stuck in the car and Jr would be at work and couldn't help me but this vehicle we are borrowing has 4 wheel drive! No more getting stuck!! :) 

Also, last night one of my cousins said he wants to give us 2 cars that we can keep or sell. We go from no cars to overload of cars! Jesus is good. 

I feel like there is just tons of stuff to do before we leave in (10 weeks) I am trying to go through our house and get rid of stuff that we don't need or use. It's been fun, I've gotten to bless some people.

It is cold here today and it is supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow. I am getting very excited for that Hawaiian sun :)

it's your choice. what are you choosing?

     A few days ago Jr was asked to go talk to someone about Jesus. This lady is 50 something and has lung cancer and was given a month to live. She had mentioned that she was ready to accept Jesus.

     Jr and I went to the hospital today and it was just so sad to see this lady laying there struggling. Jr told her about Jesus and asked her if she wanted to accept Him. --she said no. My heart broke knowing that this lady was dying and she would end up in Hell if she won't accept Jesus. I know we are supposed to speak in love but I just wanted to scream at her and say WHY? what do you have to lose? you are dying and your reality of hell is soon. I wanted to say so many things. I wanted to tell her about Heaven -- that there is no pain, no crying, no let downs, no disease. How MUCH Jesus loves us! But I just couldn't. I knew if I said anything it was going to come out wrong and probably mean because I just wanted this dying, fragile lady to accept Jesus and her heart is hardened and she said no.

     Why do people say they will 'get around' to going to church and living for Jesus? I know I said that and it was all for pure selfish reasons. I wanted to live my life how I wanted to live it even though I knew what I was doing was wrong. At times like these I am reminded and am so thankful to Jesus that He shook my world up and showed me that I needed Him!

     Having a relationship with Jesus isn't boring. It is full of adventure! He has so many plans for us and has the best for us! Living life to the fullest through Jesus is what He wants!


     If you are not choosing Jesus right now, how do you know you will choose Him on your death bed?
 --- you may not even be lucky to have time to know you are dying.

     You have two realities. Heaven or Hell. Jesus came to give you life with Him. It's your choice now.

There isn't time to wait to raise a family or wait until your older to have a relationship with Jesus.

the time is now.

finding humor in the wreckage

     This year has been.. the worst of "luck" with vehicles. Throughout this whole year we have had vehicle problems. We have gone through 3 vehicles of our own, hit a deer with a friend's and totaled it, got an abnormally large rock chip in Jr's dads truck (luckily he was already getting the window replaced)  and yesterday we got hit in Jr's dad's car which was our last resort. It is safe to say that any problems we have with vehicles don't even surprise us anymore. We don't own a vehicle of our own that works and we can't afford to buy a new vehicle because we are going to ywam. I don't know if this is humorous or irritating. I'm choosing humorous. :)
     I feel like every vehicle we have had has been 'stripped' away from us and I just feel like God really wants us to trust him! I don't know if he was trying to teach us this lesson earlier in the year and now we have no other 'options' but to turn to God and stop trying to do things on our own. Whatever it is, I know that He is our provider.

Some verses that I feel as though God is speaking to us through:

1 Corinthians 2:5

So that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.

AND

1 Corinthians 2:9

No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared for those who love him.

I don't know what God's doing with us in this situation but if you see us walking in the streets feel free to pick us up! haha just kidding.
   

cleansing

The Lord is working in our marriage through cleansing and healing us. This is a difficult process but the Lord has been by our side all the time and He is amazing me with the work he is doing in us. I can't even believe how much our marriage has grown in this last week.

In any relationship with the Lord there will be cleansing. The Lord is always making us new and to be more like him. I am so thankful that He doesn't allow us to keep up with our sin.

I had a dream last night and the Holy Spirit gave me the interpretation.

We are diving, -- plunging in head first, going below the surface, to mend and unite our marriage. Our marriage is available for moving in the Spirit and will be strengthened, repaired, mended, and recovered.

I love that part of what the Holy Spirit told me was that it will be strengthened. We can already tell that our marriage is strengthened. I love it when I can see in my life what the devil has intended for bad, God changes that and uses it for good and brings God glory. :)

Lord, I have heard of your fame;
I stand in awe of your deeds, O Lord.
Renew them in our day, 
in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy.
-Habakkuk 3:2

today I am standing in awe, once again, of Gods deeds. He is renewing us and strengthening us.

the fourth stage: birth

Please go to my blog archive on the right and go down to June. Read God's timing.

Now that you know the story of how God spoke to us about attending ywam let me say this:

     There are 4 seasons in a year but i'm not looking at this year as weather seasons. I want to look back at this year and say there were 4 stages.
     The first stage of this year the Lord really showed us that HE is our provider. It was amazing.
     The second stage was waiting and trusting in the Lord, believing Him for what He has called us to do.
     The third stage was tasting a little bit of that promise(getting accepted) and starting the work(fundraisers) for receiving His promise.(ywam)
     The fourth stage is starting next week. I feel as though we are being 'birthed' out. (remember my diagram and my blog from June)
     We are entering the last stages of this year and I am imagining child birth and giving birth to a child is not easy. There is pain but there is also the blessing at the end. As this last season is approaching I already know that I am going to be tested in trusting God with the finances we need. Isn't it funny that now those two are combined. trusting & finances. The same things that He taught and showed us from the first two stages of this year.

     Please be praying for us as we are entering this last stage. Your prayers and your friendship mean so much to us. One specific prayer that you can pray for us is that we are receiving everything the Lord has for us to learn and receive from this last stage before we are pushed out. We want to be everything the Lord has called us to be.

15 weeks.--change

      15 weeks from today we will be on a plane on our way to Kona, Hawaii. There is so much to think about with that. Saying good bye to our family, our friends, our church home and our surroundings. From the rough hills, open sky, and eventually snow ;) to 80+ degree weather, humidity, vog ( volcanic fog ) & beaches (that part isn't too hard to get used to. ) Being in one place knowing no one beside my husband and friends of our friends. Getting used to something we have never done before.
     The thing that sticks out the most when I think about leaving is how God is blessing us. He has called us on this adventure and I can't believe it. It wont become 'real' until i am boarding that plane.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings
Psalm 17:8







     

learning.

It is hard to post the things that are..ugly.

I have known that my view on some people has been altered and I wasn't sure why.

This week I heard the Lord speak clearly to me.

He said it is because of bitterness. I have become bitter towards some people because I have been holding onto things of the past. Things they have said to me & their tone of how they said it.

Now I am trusting Jesus to uproot this from me. I have to be intentional of how I am around them.

...learning.

resting

Sometimes it is just so hard to do something you know is right over your own wants. Earlier this week Jr and I took some time and talked about what the Lord was speaking to us and then prayed. One of the things we prayed about was the busyness of our life. We asked the Lord to show us what we needed to take out. I mentioned after finishing our support letters we would slow down because we would be between fundraisers.
The next day I found a really fun fundraiser that I want to do so I presented it to Jr and wanted to start on it right away. He mentioned what was said the day before about resting. I just wrestled with this so much because I know I said that but I so badly just wanted to start on it. Even this morning I was still thinking about it and wanting to start it. There are a few things I see through this situation that the Lord is teaching me.


1. following Jr's leadership. submitting to him.
2. psalms 15:4 .. who keeps his oath even when it hurts.


I am choosing to wait to start this because of those 2 reasons up there. It does hurt my wants but my wants aren't always the best.

Yesterday we ( carly, jr & i ) had a radio interview about going to ywam. Emilie Boyes (The lady that interviewed us) also writes for the Billings Examiner and she said it reaches more people than the radio station does. It was cool to be able to tell people our story of how we got to where we are today. Also was really cool to be able to talk about our church, the Alliance. One interesting thing that Emilie Boyles had said was that it seems like there is a little revival happening at our church. Which is SO true. God is doing amazing things in the Alliance church!
I'm really excited to see how Jesus uses this interview :)

Pancake Breakfast

We just finished up our last fundraiser we will be doing with Carly. It was really fun and God blew us away again!! He is so good!!  WE want to thank everyone who helped us and that came and supported us! it really does mean alot. We love reaching out into the community and being able to tell people about this adventure Jesus is sending us on. One of the coolest things that happened was that Jr got to pray for an elderly man!!

beheld by the KING!!

Last night was bittersweet. Celebrating Jackie and her marriage with close friends and family.
While also realizing it was the last time us 4 would be together until June. We all are following the Lord and going where he leads us. So in times like these I have to trust even more that His plans are good for all of us always.
Psalm 11:4
The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord's throne is in heaven;
His eyes behold, His eyelids test the sons of men.


Behold in Hebrew means:
 to gaze at; mentally to perceive, contemplate (with pleasure); specifically to have a vision of:--- behold, look, prophesy, provide,see.


He has a vision for all of us.
--trusting HIM!!

Being Stretched

Today as I was thinking about money for ywam I got worried. Worried that we wouldn't get all the money we need to go. I then read Psalm 3. It talks about all these 'foes' rising up against him and tens of thousands up against me on every side. I felt like my situation related to that because the money we have to raise is the amount only God can provide us. At the end it said from the Lord comes deliverance. I have hope that He is going to deliver us from this. That He will provide for us.

I already feel the stretching of my faith. We have to have faith that He is going to provide and I know that it isn't going to be easy. I have to let God be in control of this and try not to control this myself.

little casears

We want to tell everyone:
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 
everyone's support means so much to us.

breaking the ground

Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the LORD,
until he comes
and showers righteousness on you.
Hosea 10:12

Jesus wants to go deeper into my heart. He wants to invade the places I have not let him in; to the unplowed ground.
Breaking unplowed ground is hard. It is venturing into areas you have not gone before. I don't know what will be shown but Jesus is making me new and i'm thankful that he will always be making me new.

I know I have posted this video before but God speaks to me through this song alot.

a love realtionship

Hosea 6:3
Let us acknowledge the Lord;
let us press on to acknowledge him.
As surely as the sun rises,
he will appear;
he will come to us like the winter rains,
like the spring rains that water the earth

I love how this says let us press on to acknowledge him! Those days when we feel like we are in a rut and dont want to press in because we may think we wont learn anything or are just too focused on our self circumstances, he wants us to press in to acknowledge, which means to recognize Him. He says he will come to us and be close! He will refresh us!

He desires a relationship with us like that of Hosea 2:14-20. In those verses He talks about alluring a woman. Looking back in my life I can see how He was pursuing me all the time and still is! He also says you will call me 'my husband'. And in verses 19-20 He talks about how He will be 'betrothed' to me forever, or engaged in marriage! He wants to have this intimate relationship with us, like that of a husband. Someone who knows you the best, who you share everything with, who you love with all your heart!

I pray that we can all have this kind of relationship with Jesus. Jesus, come invade my heart to the places I have not let you into before.

overwhelmed by your love

     I remember when Jr and I felt God calling us to ywam, when we realized going there was a reality. I remember talking about it and saying it was over a year away. Now it is four and a half months away. We have purchased our plane tickets and it is the reality that we are going.

     In these past few weeks whenever I think about ywam I start to get this overwhelming feeling. It's not a bad overwhelming, its an overwhelming of God's love. He is blessing us with this season of preparing for ywam and ywam itself. Sometimes I find my self just so in awe of God because He has put this desire into our hearts and is blessing us with it! I also find myself thinking this is a dream, too good to be true. But it is reality and we are going. Our Father only wants the best for us and His plans are so good and are true.

I want to thank everyone that has supported us in our fundraising and prayers. Please don't stop praying for us, we need all the prayer we can get!

My heart is leaping after you..

     Jesus. He is such a romancer. He knows what to do to make my heart leap for Him. He knows what to say, what to show me, what to do for me. Even though He doesn't have to do any of that, He wants to. He wants such a deeper and more intimate relationship than I have with Him. He wants me to live life to the fullest. He will always be doing and wanting these things.
   
     Do you know the feelings I'm talking about when He makes your heart leap for Him? All you want is more of Him and you don't even know what exactly that looks like. My hearts cry has been just that. Whatever He has for me I want. He is always good.
 Romans 8:28 says  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.


He keeps showing up time and time again at our fundraisers and blowing our minds with how much he cares about us. This makes my heart leap after Him.


The things He says about me and how he sees me makes my heart leap after Him.


I am not in this relationship to only receive. I worship and love Him. I only hope that my worship would be a fragrant offering.

The Fundraising Begins!

We had our first fundraiser, a garage sale! I cannot believe how many people joined together with us for this! People at the church went above and beyond donating items for us. And I was blown away by how God blessed us. I didn't really know how much money to even expect to make off of this but it was much more than I even anticipated!!
Jesus shows up time and time again showing me that HE IS MY PROVIDER! This is the biggest thing that he has shown me this year. A few verses that He has really been speaking to Jr and I are:
Isaiah 55:8-9
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.


Thank you to everyone who donated items, came out and supported us and to those who prayed for this event to happen!! We appreciate you soo much! Thank you for joining and supporting us in our adventure the Lord is taking us on!

God's timing

God's timing is perfect, no doubt about it. I have seen his timing play out in my life many times. A year and a half ago I wanted to go to ywam but the timing just wasn't right. God had plans for me and Jr to get married ;) Jr has wanted to go to ywam for a couple of  years now also. In October 2010 God started stirring up ywam in our hearts again.

New Years Day Jr, Jordan, Jackie and I went to a BURN 24/7 in Bozeman. Jr and I decided to ask the Lord what he had for us this year. We prayed separately. The picture is from my notes that night and the weird looking picture is the picture that Jesus gave me. I am not very good at drawing :) but this picture He gave me looked like a womb with a circle in it. I also got the word preparing and fruitfulness. I asked Jr what the Lord spoke to him and he said that this year was a year of preparing us and that we would be learning how to work well with each other. WHOA! we got a common word. PREPARING!

Ok, let me explain my picture. Jr and I are the circle in the 'womb' The 'womb' is the preparatory stage. So, we asked for what the Lord had for us this year. He is preparing us all year and at the end of the year he is going to push us out. After this year, the year 2011 ends, 5 days later we will be boarding a plane to Kona, Hawaii for ywam. We just found out a few days ago that we got accepted.

I am excited that God has called us to ywam as a married couple. God's timing is perfect.

More Realization of what He did for us.

I grew up in church so all my life I've heard Jesus died for our sins. It's hard to imagine what or where we would be today if Jesus hadn't done that. But Jesus spoke to me the other day about this and I feel like it 'sunk' in more.

Jesus, you came to this earth, you walked this earth. You left your throne in Heaven, you were tempted in every way and you overcame sin, you conquered sin! You died for us, the worst way to die. All for us, each and every  person that has been born and will be born. Just so maybe, maybe we would decide to come spend eternity with you and love you.

He wants us. Our love. He wants a relationship with us.

God is not a mean God. If he was would he have sent his only son down to earth to die for us for that sliver of a chance that I would choose him?

unity. peace. love.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12

     God's word tells us that the enemy is out to destroy us and our relationships. Why then do I give into my flesh way of thinking and believe the lies that the enemy is telling me? Why do I give into my emotions and go the opposite way of what the Lord is doing in me? No matter how I feel I need to do what God has called me to do. That is to love. To love my husband, family, friends, neighbor, enemies, everyone. 

     After some series of events that have happened the Lord is really showing me and convicting me of unity. We need to stand by our sisters and brothers in Christ and show them love, encourage them, speak life into them. If we don't then who will? 

     to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Ephesians 4:12-13

     Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:15-16

     Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:3

     God's word talks about us (God's children) as Christ's body. You could also relate it to a train. As Jesus as the engine(head) and us(the church) as the cars, if they weren't connected some of them would be stuck, just sitting there. We all need to be connected, in unity.

     We need each other. So, lets get along. Let's love one another. Let's keep peace. Let us be united in Christ as the body. We won't function properly if we aren't united. 

Blessings.

     Today I realized how important this blogging is for me. I need to write down what God is doing in my life because I start to forget! I had to look back on his promises he has given to me that yes, he does have great plans for me.(Jeremiah 29:11)  He does love me and has chosen me, pursued me from the time I was little. (Ephesians 1:4-5)

     I feel very blessed to have the friends that I have. The Lord has special plans for each one of us. These friendships are rooted and established in the Lord so they are for eternity. These friendships are different than any friendships I have had before. We can all be so raw and real with each other.

     My husband, my best friend. :) I am thankful for him, for the man of God that he is! One of the things that I really admire about him is that he wants what is right and what God has called us to do. It blows my mind of how much wisdom he has. He is always looking out for everyone else. He is a servant. I am excited for what the Lord has for us and for all the adventures we get to go on together with Him.

     I am so thankful for Jackie. I don't know where I would be today if it wasn't for her, seriously. When I moved home two years ago I started talking to her because I knew she loved Jesus and I knew Jesus is what I needed and Jesus was pursuing me and He was using Jackie to get to me! :) She took me under her 'wing' and we have been best friends since then. This friendship has also been really hard for both of us but it is so worth working our differences out.  I really love her. <3 OH AND BY THE WAY, WE ARE COUSINS! haha. ;) She also introduced me to my wonderful husband :) Jackie is full of joy, she is exuberant for the Lord and I am always delighted to see what God is doing in her, taking her to the higher places. :)

     Carly. She is so encouraging and I have loved seeing her grow and be obedient to what the Lord has called her to do. Jesus is totally romancing her and I can just see her falling in love with Him more and more. I am extremely excited for her next few months with her adventure with Jesus. She is such a light. I am always being blown away by how the Lord is using her.

     Nikki. I have loved becoming friends with her. She is an inspiration to me. Always full of Joy! I love seeing her passion for the youth. Her heart is for the Lord and what His will is. Obedient. She is such a light to everyone she knows. She is someone you look at and you know she is different, she has that glow to her. That radiance.

     Jr and these girls mean so much to me. I can call them my best friends. They all hold a very, very special place in my heart. They all are handsome & beautiful inside and out. They radiate Jesus. They are obedient. They are men & women of God.

     Glendive Alliance Church is a special place. I feel blessed having seen this church transformed. From the old church on Clay street with maybe 100-150 people? to building the church on Highland Park Road with 500 people in service over Easter weekend. Now God has called us to build a new church. Our church has purchased land right across the street. I am eager for the building process to begin. I cannot wait to see what the Lord is going to do with our church. Our congregation is also very blessed to have the pastor we have, the worship pastor, and all the elders. They all love the Lord very much and want His will only.

I am glad this blog turned into My Blessings. :) Everyone needs to be reminded every once in awhile of how special you are to someone. I love you all!

Breaking the Chains

     I went to Sidney last night for a prayer meeting by our friend Charles Musanda. He was speaking on prayer and fasting. He told us he had a dream that he was at an airport with president Bush and he was holding a small suitcase. Charles asked Bush where he was going and Bush said I'm still the worlds sheriff. I'm going out for justice. Charles woke up that morning thinking that was a weird dream. He later seen the Billings Gazette saying Osama was dead and president Bush saying 'justice is served.'
     Charles is from Africa and he said when a lion that has been attacking his people gets killed they take a day of celebration. So yesterday was Charles' celebration because one of the 'lions' got killed. He is now asking people to fast and pray with him for three days for the National Day of Prayer.

     The first day, which is today is the day to pray to break bondages in family. Second day is for the Church. Praying that the Holy Spirit will come upon us and we will be like the church of Acts! Third day is for our Government and the Awakening that must come.
   
     2 Corinthians 10:4 "The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds." The Lord is faithful and I believe he will bless us for fasting and praying for these bondages to be broken. Jesus wants our families to be free, free of sin and full of his peace. Be praying for your family today. Whatever they are in bondage to that Jesus will break that and set them free. I know I want to see my family experience the Jesus of the Bible, the true Jesus.

Rainy Day

      Friday was a “rainy day” for me. You know one of those days where you wake up tired and don’t want to do anything but sleep on the couch and watch movies all day. Those days when you don’t feel like spending time with Jesus.

      As I was laying on the couch all I could think about was spending time with Him and that I needed to. I decided to watch a teaching from Joyce Meyer. After that I then went on to read in “His Princess Warrior- Love Letters for Strength from Your Lord” By Sheri Rose Shepherd. The day’s subject was Rest For the Warrior:

     My Weary Warrior

I am never too tired to carry you when you’re too weak to walk. This is one of the privileges of being My Princess. Take My gift of a Sabbath and rest, My beloved. Allow your body and mind to refuel while you rest. I can lift that heaviness in your heart so you will be more effective. Let Me be your refuge when you’re weary from life. I am the One who wants to bear all burdens. Come rest in Me to receive My perfect peace, which will refresh and renew your strength. Now let go and find rest for your weary soul.

Love,

Your God of perfect peace

     Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”                        Matthew 11:28

     He tells us to come to Him when we are weary (tired) and He will give us rest and renew our strength. Jesus, you are faithful to me even when I don’t feel like spending time with you. He is such a loving God, such a gentleman.

     I was pumped, so I went on to read in my book that I’m reading by Joyce Meyer. The opening verse was:

And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.                                    Galatians 6:9

     Joyce put this as: the Apostle Paul simply encourages us to keep on keeping on! Don’t be a quitter! Don’t have that old “give-up” spirit. God is looking for People who will go all the way through with Him.

     That really hit me. Here I was being selfish and just doing what I wanted to do. Not spending time with the one I love the most. He wants us to push through in the times where we don’t “feel” like it. He has been teaching me lately that our relationship with Him cannot be based on emotions. It has to be based on what His Word says. We have to stand on solid ground. Emotions come and go, but His Word stands forever!

part two: dreams

"Only by the Holy Spirit can one get a true and correct interpretation of dreams, visions, and mysteries of God. From Genesis to Revelation, the true meaning of parables, dreams, mysteries, and "the handwriting of God" were divinely "sealed." That's why magicians, enchanters, wise men, and religious leaders in Egypt and Babylon could not interpret or understand these revelations. Up to this day, no other power besides God can tell a true meaning of a dream, no matter how simple the dream might seem." 

-Dr. Joe Ibojie

"Dreams come from God in the form of a parable language or illustrated stories. These personalized encoded messages are full of symbols that express the mysteries of God. As a result of the symbolism, dreams need some form of interpretation before a proper understanding can be gained. Interpretation can come to the dreamer either spontaneously, after praying to God about the dream, or through a person gifted in dream interpretation. Many people will hesitate to seek the meaning of their dreams, although it is biblical to do so; yet dream interpretation should be a carefully guided effort. Wrong interpretation has the potential to lead a person into bondage." -Dr. Joe Ibojie

"God uses dreams to reveal himself to the heart of man.

God's major purpose for giving us dreams is so that we respond appropriately on earth to what He is doing in Heaven." -Dr. Joe Ibojie

"The message of a dream or vision can come in many ways: as prophecy(most common); a word of knowledge; a gift of discernment; a gift of healing;  a gift of wisdom; or as a gift of interpretation. Solomon was given wisdom in a dream. He woke up wiser and began to demonstrate divine wisdom and respect for human life. 

Dreams have the power to expand, confirm, enlighten, enrich, and deepen your understanding of God's word:

Through dreams, we get more specific details and specific direction for achieving a given task.

Through dreams and visions, God grants us insightful understanding of our own hearts. The apostle Peter's wrong mindset that Gentiles were unclean (which came from his Jewish upbringing) was revealed to him through visions he received from God.

God uses dreams and visions to give us insight into circumstances of life and the true reason behind our experiences."

-Dr. Joe Ibojie

There is a lot more for what God gives us dreams for. I just wanted to write a few. And I really only want to write about what I have experienced.

I had a dream the other night that someone hired me to clean their house. I was folding her laundry in her bedroom and then it transitioned into a History classroom and my friends were there and they were all waiting for me while I was vacuuming the floor. Just cleaning away. I then walked into a room where there was a "food machine" you sat in a chair and the machine read your body impulses for what you needed. 

This book that I have has symbols of what things are. And the most important key is that Dr Joe Ibojie says these are the symbols and their meanings of what God has shown him personally in his life. It isn't only limited to that. And it is only the Holy Spirit that can confirm dreams.

So the symbolism in this book for:

Clean: To make holy, purity. To make righteous. To make ready and acceptable.

Classroom: A time of spiritual preparation.

Food: Spiritual and Physical nourishment, good or evil. To bring increase.

Bedroom: A place of intimacy. A place of rest, sleep or dreams. A place of covenant, a place of revelation.

This is confirmation to me in my heart. I already knew that God was making me more like Him, pulling out those nasty roots. I know that this year is a time of preparation for me and my husband. (this is another story) and with this preparation I need spiritual nourishment, to grow. When you grow you get more intimate with Jesus.

 I am becoming the woman that God has intended me to be.

Remember that saying pain is beauty? I feel like this. Pulling out those deep roots is painful. But becoming like Jesus is beautiful.

God is giving His people dreams all over. My friends and I discuss our dreams often. A lot of the time it is confirmation to us and encouragement for each other.

If anyone is interested in dreams I recommend this book. It has helped a lot and it is exciting when the Holy Spirit confirms to you your dreams. It makes you want Jesus all the more.